How Hobo-Joe Stole Christmas by kas90 – Review by Agrutle


Bella is having the best dream while snuggled up at her best friend, Alice’s family home; only to wake up to a strange man in bed next to her.  Screaming and yelling that he needs to leave her room makes the man, dubbed HoboJoe, look at her like she is crazy and tells her that she’s in his room.

I had the strangest dream. It really was so weird. I felt warmth, smelled cigarette smoke mixed with woods, and heard heavy breathing. It was quite delightful, except that I hated anything woods related, and my ex-boyfriend smoked like a chimney, so I might still be holding a bitter grudge about it. And heavy breathing – what, was this some horror movie? Or horror dream? I wasn’t much of an actress…

Weird, right? No! Not weird, because when I opened my eyes from my dream I saw another fucking person in bed with me.

I sat up screaming and quickly turned on the side lamp.

This smelly, grungy, hobo-looking man was sprawled out on the other side of the bed. What the fuck, man! This was my bed!

“Get out of my fucking bed!” I yelled, further waking this obvious homeless person who must have climbed the side of the house and come through the door on my balcony.

After all the confusion, Alice and her brother, Emmett, let Bella know that it’s not a hobo but their older brother, Edward. After much insistence they agree, sort of, to share the room, although Edward wants his room to himself and for Bella and her Justin Timberlake posters to get the hell out. Bella feels betrayed and a little out of place, having not known about him. Edward has his own reasons for which his family ignored his existence. They both end up bonding over the ‘hate’ they have for each other. After a while they realize that they are more alike than they first thought. All they are looking for is a place to belong. Reading this one shot had me giggling in more than one place, as well as feeling cozy from the love that it shows.

It was my turn to open my gift from Esme and Daddy C, and boy, they did not disappoint. I opened up the long black box and removed a silver charm bracelet, with a charm of the Cullen crest dangling beautifully.

“Everyone in the family has one, Bella,” Esme explained. “It was only right you would get one, too.”

I gushed like a child, hugging my parents tightly. Yeah, fuckers, I told you this was my family.

The way this author writes makes you feel like you are right there in the story. Not surprisingly How Hobo-Joe Stole Christmas won second place in the Baby It’s Cold Outside public vote. I have also learned that Kas90 is planning on adding more to it! If you haven’t read it yet you should now!

Find this story here:


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